Artfulmind

How can I hold my ground in challenging situations with colleagues?

I like to think of myself as a confident person, and usually I am, but there are certain situations I find myself in at work with colleagues where my confidence just drains away, and I don't know why. I begin to doubt myself and my ideas and opinions. And then I won't speak up, I give way and find myself agreeing to do things I don't think are fair or right for me. It's so frustrating. What can I do?

Confidence and a sense of personal power and authority are felt, embodied experiences. We feel confident (or not). We feel authoritative or not. We experience them somatically - through our body-sensing-mind - not intellectually as thoughts through our head-thinking-mind.

What you are experiencing suggests that deepening your sense of embodiment is required. Try the following method.

Practice: Standing your ground

Do this exercise without shoes.

Stand up with space around you to move.

Feet are parallel, hip width apart. Back is straight but not rigid. Abdominal muscles are gently tensed, to fully support the spine. Shoulders are relaxed.

Eyes are soft, looking down to the ground about 1m in front of you.

Take a few slow, deep breaths.

Bring your full attention to your feet. One foot at a time, roll the foot around so the sole makes full contact with the ground. Wiggle the toes then grip the ground. Hold for 3 seconds then release. Repeat.

Feel the soles of your feet truly connected to the ground.

With your awareness still fully in your feet, say to yourself in a clear, strong voice:

This is my ground. It is stable, rich and fertile.
It supports me and my endeavours.
I deserve to be here.
I trust myself. I trust my ground.

Notice what arises.

If feelings of self-doubt or being undeserving arise, or the practice feels ridiculous, let the feelings come and go.

Repeat the words:

This is my ground. It is stable, rich and fertile.
It supports me and my endeavours.
I deserve to be here.
I trust myself. I trust my ground.

Repeat the practice at regular intervals to aid your holistic well-being.

Confidence and a sense of personal power and authority are felt, embodied experiences. We feel confident (or not). We feel authoritative or not. We experience them somatically - through our body-sensing-mind - not intellectually as thoughts through our head-thinking-mind.

What you are experiencing suggests that deepening your sense of embodiment is required. Try the following method.

Practice: Standing your ground

Do this exercise without shoes.

Stand up with space around you to move.

Feet are parallel, hip width apart. Back is straight but not rigid. Abdominal muscles are gently tensed, to fully support the spine. Shoulders are relaxed.

Eyes are soft, looking down to the ground about 1m in front of you.

Take a few slow, deep breaths.

Bring your full attention to your feet. One foot at a time, roll the foot around so the sole makes full contact with the ground. Wiggle the toes then grip the ground. Hold for 3 seconds then release. Repeat.

Feel the soles of your feet truly connected to the ground.

With your awareness still fully in your feet, say to yourself in a clear, strong voice:

This is my ground. It is stable, rich and fertile.
It supports me and my endeavours.
I deserve to be here.
I trust myself. I trust my ground.

Notice what arises.

If feelings of self-doubt or being undeserving arise, or the practice feels ridiculous, let the feelings come and go.

Repeat the words:

This is my ground. It is stable, rich and fertile.
It supports me and my endeavours.
I deserve to be here.
I trust myself. I trust my ground.

Repeat the practice at regular intervals to aid your holistic well-being.